Even the most independent person will need help from time to time, and there is no weakness in asking for what you need when you need it.
But, sometimes, asking for help can feel uncomfortable – even when it is for something small. So how do you learn how to ask for the help you need?
We know that asking for help can seem like a daunting situation, sometimes it can be small things like help with a question we need an answer to, and other times it can be something like addiction treatment. There is a lot of space between the two.
Why is asking for help difficult?
Offering and giving help to others often fills us with joy, which is strange when asking for help can be so complex. Often the idea is that asking for help can make us appear weak, incapable, or vulnerable.
But giving and accepting help is actually an important bonding process, and no one will think bad of you for asking for help when you need it. In fact, most people would love to help you!
So how can you learn to accept help when you need it?
One of the first barriers that we encounter when we need help is the discomfort of the idea that we can’t do something ourselves. The idea is that we need other people to complete a task and manage it.
And for those who have had bad experiences when asking for help, this can be an even bigger barrier. It requires you to trust that the people you asked for help from will do what is needed.
If you have a critical inner voice, this can be a reflection of how you were raised and the trauma that you have been holding on to. The critical inner voice will point out that you should be able to do something without help. That you are responsible for everything in your life.
And that will cause the thinking that whatever is going on is a burden for only you to deal with – no matter how big or small.
And that ultimately, since you were often told you could do it yourself, that no one will help if you do ask.
It will take time to reframe, but you can do this in such a way that you deserve help.
It is a skill
Asking for help when you need it and accepting it is a true skill. It means that you have highlighted an area in your life where you will benefit from having people or tools to help you and that you are worthy of it.
Asking for help is an act of self-love and a skill that needs practice. Once we place value in the act of asking and accepting help, it becomes something that is a regular part of making our lives how we feel they should be.
Remember, no one deserves to feel stressed, worried, or trapped! Asking for help is a strength, and the more you do it, the better you will be at it.