How to raise children to be confident and well adjusted

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Parenting is a big responsibility; you have to teach your children the value of things, make sure they get a proper education and set appropriate boundaries that they can learn from. There is no linear approach to parenting; you just have to know what to cultivate and when to support their development into confident and well-adjusted adults. Here are some things to consider.  


Children need boundaries if they are to grow up to be confident and well-adjusted. As with adults, children need to learn where the boundaries are for themselves and others and work with boundaries so they can interact with others in an appropriate and confident manner. 

When you tell a child they have to put their screen away and go to bed or that they can’t play a game until they have completed homework, you are putting a boundary in place. At first, you will get a reaction, but stay consistent with your message, and use calming strategies for kids.  


Even carefree children need routines. Routines help children to feel comfortable and confident in their home environment; when they get to know what to expect at mealtimes, bedtimes, and in th morning, they learn the routine patterns and become more confident in those contexts. 

As your child grows up and goes to school or university, routines are going to help them to create new comfort zones in their lives. If you instill a sense of routine in your child at a young age, you adapt their psychology to favor familiarity with routines, making them well-adjusted.  


Adequate sleep is an ongoing challenge in the digital world; not only does it keep up at night, but it distracts your mind and makes it more difficult to sleep. Sleep is an important building block for anyone, but it’s especially important for children whose brains are only starting to develop fully. 

If you want to raise a healthy and well-adjusted child, you need to control bedtimes carefully and make sure they don’t stay up late using digital devices. Children need a lot of sleep – around ten hours on average – so make boundaries clear about sleep patterns and support development.   


Empathy is about relating to another person with kindness, and while children are born with an innate feeling of care and trust, empathy is something that takes a little time to learn. The difference between caring and empathy is that caring is the emotion at the heart of empathy. 

Teaching your children to be empathetic at an early age helps them to understand people better and navigate the world more easily. So how can you cultivate this important trait in children? Firstly, you need to practice empathy yourself, but you can also read them empathetic stories.


Oxytocin, otherwise known as the love hormone, is a hormone that is triggered when we hug someone. Hugging is a primordial practice that conduces to connection and growth; the reason a hormone is released when we hug is that our social connections are linked to survival. 

In the therapy business, there is a saying that we need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth. Interestingly, the oxytocin hormone is also liked to grow, so give your children plenty of hugs and support their developing brains.    


Most adults regard playtime as a frivolous period that doesn’t lead to any goal. In some ways, this is true, but that doesn’t mean that playtime doesn’t have any purpose. Adults might ask if they can talk to one another to de-stress, but children are more likely to ask for playtime. 

Playtime is important to de-stress a child, but it’s also an important feature of personal development. Playtime is a chance for children to be creative in an uninhibited way, and from that, they learn to form new ideas and find inspiration. This is helpful when they grow older. 

Outdoor Time 

Studies show that time in nature has many benefits for our emotional and psychological well-being, and this is just as true for children as it is for adults. The last thing you want is for your child to spend all their time in the house in front of their screens and machines. 

Combine playtime with outdoor time, or make outdoor time a special occasion and take them hiking on the weekend. The green space, the fresh air, and the physical activities all work together to generate inspiration and teach your children the value of outdoor activities. 


Nobody likes chores, especially not children, but that doesn’t mean that chores can’t be enjoyable. Additionally, chores are excellent for developing a sense of responsibility in children and building self-esteem, which supports their development into healthy, well-adjusted adults. 

At first, you might encounter some resistance from them. Children don’t like to spend their time washing and cleaning instead of watching their favorite shows on TV or playing on a console, but you can motivate them with a financial reward or allow them to choose something later on.  

Screen Time

Humans have evolved over thousands of years, and the way the brain develops intellectually and socially as we grow is well-understood. Along with supportive interactions with parents and family, children also need to navigate the natural environment and experience its dynamics. 

In recent years children (and adults) have become more dependent on their screens for entertainment, information, and interaction, but this is not a healthy approach to brain development. To support the development of children, we need to put limits on screen time. 


What will your children remember when they grow up and move on with their lives? Of course, they might remember a favorite toy or game, but chances are the things they will remember most are the experiences they had with their parents, friends, family, and the local community. 

With that in mind, think of some of the ways you can create meaningful experiences for your children in their young lives. Teach them about nature by going on hikes or looking at frogs in the pond, or teach them the value of social connections by playing outdoor games with them.

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