Tag: balance

We dream of working from home..

Then we work from home and dream of leaving for work.

Any way you slice it as a stay at home mom, work at home mom, work away mom, or part-time mom the juggle and struggle is real.

Sometimes when first starting your entrepreneur journey it can feel lonely and like the odds are against you. I want you to know that you’re not alone and these emotions are completely normal. This is why I wanted to completely devote this September Motivation to you mammas who are having a hard time feeling sane and “balancing” it all. I thought what better way than to share a chapter out of my book, The Sweetest Little Life. Chapter Seven is all about finding your zen.  Let’s get right to it and hopefully our mama tribe can walk away feeling refreshed, inspired, and motivated!

Chapter Seven – Finding  Your Zen

It was Thanksgiving 2017 and the busiest time of year for my shop. Every year around the beginning of November I become elated with the amazing customers I get to meet, the jolly spirits, and the goodies I get to consistently create. Not to mention the amazing home décor finds, crafting with my littles and family memories that get made every Holiday Season. Being sentimental is a character trait that was imbedded in me from birth.

For some reason 2017 was different. It was as though I was becoming resentful of everyone asking something from me. In the beginning of this book I told you that I had become the yes girl. Mamas, I said yes to everything.

Can you pick this up? Yes.

Can you watch my child? Yes.

Can you walk my dog? Yes.

Can you volunteer on this day? Yes.

Can you make me 40 mugs by tomorrow for an event? Yes.

Can you run this errand for me? Yes.

Can you plan this event for us? Yes.

Having your hands in too many things at one time is dangerous, and here is why. You lose your zest. Your passion and drive are something that keeps you going, even on the months you make a whopping twenty dollars. It’s the passion that keeps you trudging through the mud and putting one foot in front of the other.

Allow your passion to become your purpose, and it will one day become your profession.

Being an entrepreneur is the toughest job out there for the simple reason you have no one to answer to but yourself. You are the last person to get a paycheck, you work the longest hours, you have no days off in the beginning, and you consistently struggle with this thing called “balance.”

The most successful entrepreneurs in this world chase their passions not a paycheck. Passion will always lead you directly to your purpose when you feel lost with no direction.

This loss of “zest” didn’t happen all at one time or overnight, but from Thanksgiving to January I became miserable. My work began to show that the passion was drifting away.  I was snappy and grumpy at everyone around me. Looking back at pictures I even cringe knowing how sad I felt inside. Over the months I developed major anxiety. At one point I thought I was experiencing a heart attack!

What was wrong with me? Was I broken?

I knew I needed to snap out of this anxiety, but how? Was I losing it? Should I just quit and not pursue my dreams anymore?

Hell no. I am not a quitter.

Inside I knew I was on the brink of breaking. What I learned was this is the make it or break it stuff that truly makes you grow, not only as a human, but in your business. I needed this three-month funk to make me realize how blessed I was. How much I craved to wake up every morning and be excited for what the day might hold, what opportunities might arise, who I might meet. This is the stuff that keeps me going. After talking to several other makers, I began to see a pattern. Everyone goes through this at some point in their business. It is going to be ok. When you are uncomfortable, when you feel like giving up, it is completely acceptable to turn everything off and unplug for a little while. Prioritize and dig deep into what is really going on. For my personal story, I realized I was saying yes to things that were draining me. They were not my passion, I did not want to do them, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

(Major people pleaser over here yo!)

I have grown more in the past 6 months not only as a mother, wife, maker, and friend but into who I was meant to be, into my purpose of why I was put onto this earth. I stopped giving a “you know what” about what people thought of me. It was the most freeing feeling I have ever experienced.  If it wasn’t for this rough patch where I truly believed my world was going to crumble, I could never have pushed through to fly or made the soul searching worthwhile.

There is a difference between being a push over and being compassionate and empathetic. You can be kind and genuine but still hold boundaries. You need to do this if you are going to be running a business. The more successful you become, the more people will ask of you. “With great success comes great responsibility”. The old saying that holds so true to the heart. Your goals and purpose are going to change and shift with time, that’s just life.

It’s a good rule of thumb every six months to review your goal list and polish it up. (This is where the professional goal digging comes into play.)   The knowledge you gain, the advice you receive, the experience you get from working your passion every day will make you need to adjust and tweak little things here and there to make your business perfect for you and your family.

Now let’s get real.

Family and your business.

This can get messy! Some days you are overwhelmed, stressed out and who does it get taken out on? Well, the people closest to you of course. Naturally we want this journey to be all sunshine and glitter sprinkles, but the truth is that it is tough to balance everything. It will be especially hard when you are starting out and finding what your groove is. When I was in the red for my first year and spending quadruple the amount that I was bringing in, I can’t tell you the amount of arguments and sleepless nights I experienced wondering if I was going to fail again. Fear can stop you right in your tracks, our minds can talk us out or into anything. Pretty powerful stuff right here.

Am I meant for this?

What if I let my family down?

I am not spending enough one on one time with each child.

I am not making my husband proud.

These arguments aren’t worth chasing my dreams, I’ll just try again in a few years.

This negative self-talk will kill you inside and completely shatter your confidence as a Mompreneur. Some days are tough. Plain and Simple. Its being compassionate to everyone around you, knowing when to take days off and disconnect from it all, knowing when to plan and push through on the days you just want to veg out on Netflix. Its trial and error in finding exactly the schedule that works for you.

Being a wife of a Firefighter who is gone four days out of the week I had to get creative with scheduling my endeavors. I finally found what works for me. I wake up an hour before the kids go to school, plan every aspect of what my day will look like, work late on the nights my husband is gone and shut it down the evenings my husband is home. I now say “no” to mom coffee dates after drop off because those four hours that my daughter is in preschool are my only solo hours to tackle my Etsy orders interruption free. It took me months to figure out how to outsource, plan, and make my life as balanced as possible. Once I did this though, once I stopped caring if people may not like me because I couldn’t go to coffee three days a week with them, once I started realizing my priorities were living my dream, being the best mom and wife I possibly could be and keeping my circle small I began to feel alive. Waking up early? No problem. Staying up late? No problem. Excitement for life does amazing things to the mind and body.

The trick is finding your zest and knowing sometimes you may not have the “energizer bunny” motivation you desire. If you’re clear on where you are going and what you’re fighting so hard for, the stamina will always return to you.

Don’t give up, remember your reasons.