I very rarely talk about my personal life. I try to keep every thing professional as apple pie. However maybe I can help a mama or two become not so helpless and feel not so alone with this. Maybe I’ll be shunned…Who knows but I wanted to be real and I promised you when I started this blog to always be vulnerable. So here my shaking little hands go….
My son is a very spirited little man. Vivacious, amazing, typical little boy….. What you do not see is this little boy has been through far more than the average 7-year-old. His biological father was very sick from PTSD and caused some severe trauma with telling him things that were inappropriate…We wont go into too much detail. Basically my child was afraid of everything by the age of 4. He thought planes were spraying aerosol trying to kill him, if an apple didn’t have an organic sticker on it he would throw it at me in the store and scream I was killing him by feeding him fruit that wasnt organic…. It was a night mare. I threw myself into straight survivor mom mode and we went to intensive PCIT (Parent Child Therapy), Counseling, Play Therapy, Parenting classes…. (I had no idea what was causing this until my son could speak clearly and my husband and I started to put the pieces together of what was happening on his visitation time.) Lets fast forward. After a horrible custody battle where my character, insides, and confidence were basically Destroyed I became strong….Like hammer head, white shark, turtle shell strong….. I decided I would no longer give a FUCK what anyone said or thought about me.
The only thing that mattered at this point was MY CHILD. HIS WELL BEING. HIS PROTECTION. AND HIS HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
He deserves this…just as any other child. When he was 5 we gained full custody of my son with protection for his well-being.
We have these illusions of what our lives will look like when were younger and sometimes we hit speedbumps…What I have learned is THATS OK!!!!! My outcome came out far better than anything I could have ever imagined. I married what I think is my soul mate…(like really the man of my dreams.) an amazing father to my children and all my son knows as daddy. This makes my heart skip a beat.
When my son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of six we decided to not medicate. My favorite thing about my child is his drive for life, his little spirit, his old soul… It drives me crazy, makes me laugh, but most of all it’s WHO HE IS. He is ALL BOY….. Now here’s the problem….As his mom I do not believe he has ADHD. I think he has some serious testosterone and is a typical boy. For some reason in today’s society this is not allowed any more.
We are such a sensitive arrogant entitled generation that boys are supposed to act like girls.
We are WIRED differently. (boys and girls.) Boys will not sit at a desk for 8 hours and read books. They want to lift rocks and find bugs, climb trees, do math by counting the stones they find at the beach, not by sitting counting numbers on a paper. So whats easy? TO MEDICATE… mmm.mmm.mmm.
Maybe this is easy? Is easy right? I personally do not think so. I started to question myself after talks with family, teachers, etc.
Am I wrong?
Should I just medicate and make it easier?
HELL NO. My gut was screaming…. So I did a ton of research, found alternative motives and realized three things.
- BOYS ARE BOYS. They are not girls…. LET THEM BE BOYS. They are hyper, they are silly, they want to be boys…DONT FALL VICTIM TO THE BOX of what they are “supposed” to be..What you thought you would have in a child…LET THEM BE just that…THEM. It’s really beautiful when you step back and can guide them instead of force them in the correct direction.
- Vitamins and supplements can cure pretty much anything. Often times its as simple as a vitamin their short in.
- Output and Excersize. Boys are meant to move…WE all our. Get out…run, hike, play. Boys are not designed to sit in a corner and fold their hands…(this goes back to cave man times.)
Most of all follow your gut. Follow your heart. You are a mother. That means your child was designed specifically to need you. Do not let them down, do what’s right and what you know they need. That’s why you get the title Mother.
Some children truly do need medication, don’t get me wrong. If they don’t though and you can find an alternative…DO THAT.
Parenting is Messy.
Accept it. Love it. Know this time goes SO FAST.
Most of all Enjoy the Little things…They really are the BIG things in the end.
Lets end this with Mother Theresa.
“If you want to change the world, go home and LOVE your family.”