The hardest hood we will ever walk in. Motherhood.
Why you ask? Simple. None of us know what the hell we are doing. Motherhood comes with no handbook, no play by play for each personality you bring into this world, no direction pamphlet explaining do this or don’t do this. Just opinions. Everyonnnnnnneeeesssss Opinions. Yuck right?! Some are great. Some are horrible.
I am a firm believer we are given this amazing talent the second we become pregnant called a mothers intuition. With a clear head and loving heart we can feel that deep down wrenching gut feeling that sometimes we want to run far away from or not face, but dang it is always right and will never steer us in the wrong direction.
Being a mother of three very different strong willed little ones I have learned a patience and humbleness I never imagined possible.
Here’s how. Falling straight on my face again and again. Trying to be someone I wasn’t when I first became a mama, being picture perfect but falling apart inside. I then tried the whole guilt parenting thing for a while….that worked well (Insert major eye roll here.) Being strict and over bearing because their little and I’m big. Being passive with a ton of cuddles. Ladies I am telling you what I think I have covered all the basis’s of being every “type” or “label” of parent out there. Now ready for the real game changer…were talking the big aha moment.
I didn’t HAVE to be anyone other than myself. My best self.
There is a time to be a listening ear. A time to be understanding. A time to lose your shit. A time to go cry in the bathroom. A time to put your military hat on. A time to sit and hug them. A time to giggle and be silly.
That’s what’s so beautiful in parenting. There is a time and place for everything. It’s not right or wrong we’re just LEARNING. We are all taking this mama hood one step at a time. So let’s not judge or push our advice. Let’s just love another mom for exactly where they are at in the stage of growth the universe has put them on. Everyones learning manual and step by step guide is different.
Grace is something so important to allow ourselves in motherhood. I feel so often especially in todays controlled content world aka social media, we put expectations on ourselves of perfection. Let me be the first to tell you…Throw that idea out the window. Perfect is boring and does not exist.
So how as mothers do we bring our self grace, forgiveness, and love to show up as our best self for our families?
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. The silly fights over toothpaste or wedgies……These we will look back and laugh.
- Remind yourself you are human and it is okay to make mistakes. One of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou is “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
- God does not make mistakes. He gave you your exact children for a reason. Quit simply….You need them and they need you. Its a match made in heaven. (Literally.)
- Do not compare yourself to anyone else. Your journey is beautiful. No one is perfect. Not their looks, not their house, not their life. NO ONE.
- Give yourself the same grace and love that you would offer another mom in the same position you are in.
- Set an example for your children on self love. You absolutely have to have your cup at least half way FULL in order to pour into everyones cup.
- Do not feel guilty for chasing your goals while parenting. Just because you gave birth does not mean….”welp now I have to do nothing for the next 18 years.” Show your children how to chase passion, or hobby, or career. (What ever your thang is then girl do you!)
- Remember this in the rough moments…Your children do not want perfect. They want PRESENT you. Stay in the moment, no matter what the situation.
- Cry, Laugh, Growl….FEEL. In my experience shoving things down only end in the Armageddon.
- Celebrate the small victories. Always eat the cake.
- Do not torture yourself or feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Again, we are human and need to allow ourself that long stroll through target, massage, or walk by ourselves to re center every once in a while.
- The biggest thing I have learned in grace and my passionate pursuit in it lately as a mother is Forgiveness. Forgiveness: The action or process of forgiving. In the Bible the word also means to remit, to allow an action, to leave something or someone alone, to send away or to desert.
Woah chills right? In this moment, allow yourself grace. Maybe tonight reach out to a friend and tell them how awesome sauce they are. –
This week I have some EXCITING things in store for you all. Our new blogging schedule is Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7 p.m. Stay tuned for some amazing mompreneur education, momlife advice, and home diy ideas. Heres to new beginnings….and grace lots and lots of grace.