We have all had the experience of being on the receiving or giving end of toxic behavior. I hate the term toxic people because I believe people change. However, relationships can sure as shit be toxic when the behavior is present and very unhealthy for our spirit. Tonight I want to share with you how to identify toxic traits and more important how to react to them. When we are in the relationships or surrounding ourselves with people exhibiting this behavior we often have our blinders on and do not realize the depth in which this effects our energy.
Tell tale signs to look for –
Self absorption and self centeredness, Manipulation, gaslighting, emotional abuse, name calling, gossiping behind your back, dishonestly and deceit. Difficulty offering compassion to others and a tendency to have drama follow them where ever they go in different relationships and situations. Other signs are the dream of being around them, you feel exhausted in their presence, you feel bad or ashamed about yourself, you feel stuck in this cycle and it feels like you’re drowning.
STOP Playing into their reality – When we have been in a toxic relation ship it is easy to begin taking the “victim role” on which allows us to shift blame or paint them in a more positive light. (That whole rose colored glasses thing.) Often times you feel tired of fighting and it’s easier to just go along or walk on egg shells to avoid an argument or screaming.
SET Boundaries – If they can’t respect them then it is time to leave the relationship. Cord cutting (which I’ll cover in another blog is very powerful if it comes to this.)
Focus on your cup – The oxygen mask needs to go on you first in order for you to help any one else. Begin self care regiments and self love. Learn to fall in love with yourself.
Reflect on the relationship – Free flow journal and ask yourself is this serving my highest good. If the answer is no, it is time to re-evaluate.
STOP getting drawn into the same merry go round – You’ve heard the phrase if you can’t beat em join em. Often times we catch ourselves gossiping or complaining just to feel apart of this relationship. If we sit silent that would be akward… Pull out and walk away. Do not participate in these low vibration conversations.
NO. is a complete sentence – When we are used to unhealthy relationships we often want to defend or explain ourselves. On the flip side you may feel the need to prove yourself. Learn that saying no period is a complete sentence. You do not need an explanation if you do not want to do something.
If you’re struggling with this in your life I would love to connect with you. For Mental Health Awareness Month I am offering free consultations all of May and June.