vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty
noun
The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
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Vulnerably Seen…..How powerful is this? How terrifying is this? How freeing could this make your life? This word. Just one word, has been on my heart for months now. I felt in this rut in my life, it all started around Christmas time. I was missing the balance factor of life, the being present and in the moment, the chamillionaire blend ninja move to every situation I was placed in…. I had over 1200 etsy orders, just me to complete it and two little amazing children who needed an energized mom! Than it happened. I became exhausted! Not the oh I need a nap exhausted, but TIRED of trying to make EVERY SINGLE PERSON happy that I lost myself in the journey! I was coaching my sons soccer team, volunteering in class, taking my daughter to dance, gymnastics, & music, every day going to wrestling practices for my son, running my business during naptime or staying up at wee hours after my children went to sleep, trying to be super wife, constantly cleaning, doing any favor any one asked me to do, basically trying to make sure everyones life around me was PERFECT except for my own. I dropped to my knees one night to pray just feeling broken! I felt like I was a failure in every single aspect possible, I was guilt parenting, my consistancy was lacking, you want to talk about crabby HELLO GOODBYE this was me, and I did not even realize it! I was shoving everything inside telling my self to be strong and that I needed to be this perfect role model when in reality I was doing everything but this. I was “trying”…. I despise this word by the way…. I needed to start DOING! I made a list…a long one at that. They were all different things but all the same topic I needed time for me that I NEVER prioritized or told anyone I needed. On the outside I was like Leave it to Beaver and on the inside a constant brink of tears. Now I am telling you this not as a my mom sat me on the toilet backwards at three and life is horrible…(My life is blessed beyond my wildest dreams) BUT I couldnt see it because I was not being vulnerable with myself or with others. With work I was not launching my creativity I was going with what the trendy items were and constantly comparing myself to other makers, in parenting I was trying to take everyone elses advice instead of doing what I knew in my heart was the perfect thing for my children. When I paint at night I listen to podcast, not on one topic, but a piece here a piece there of different topics and oh em gee…….I listened to one and the words will forever be cemented in me. ” If we do not show our vulnerable selves how is anyone ever going to love us for who we truly are.” From this second and I mean SECOND on I made it a point to be vulnerable and open to any possibility. I made it a point to slow it down! I began waking up an hour before my children to meditate, work out, get centered, what ever I needed for that morning to be my best when it was time to start the day. I started opening up about my mom fails and my mom scores and you know what happened? PEOPLE RELATED….PEOPLE GOT IT…..I GREW REAL RELATIONSHIPS….MY CHILDREN WERE HAPPIER….MY HUSBAND WAS HAPPIER…MY BUSINESS SKY ROCKETED….I FELT BALANCED for the first time….well hell ever. We are REAL people on this REAL journey called life. Its short, its challenging, its amazing! I just want to encourage you, no matter where you are on your journey to think of this one simple word… vulnerable. Are you trying to do it, or are you DOING it? I promise you it will forever change every aspect of your life once you give up caring what everyone thinks of you and start caring what you think of you. It all starts with you LOVING yourself and than the love and capacity you have to really authentically love others over flows and this my friends is a miracle within itself.
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